Rights offering detail :
A Fierce Gentleman’s Journey into Nonmonogamy
Aug. 26, 2022
Digital: Non-fiction: Memoir
Part nonmonogamy guidebook, part love story, part erotic memoir, A Fierce Gentleman’s Journey into Nonmonogamy is a recounting of my relationship with Jane, a female sexuality empowerment activist, and how it blew away my conception of what female sexuality should be, or could be. At the same time, it undermined my self-image and confidence in my masculinity, male identity, and sexuality, forcing me to pick up the pieces and rebuild them from the rubble.

I’ve spent most of my adult life pursuing adventures on the edge of safety. I’ve climbed some of world’s steepest mountains, stood on the bottom of the sea without an air tank, been swept away in an avalanche, jumped out of an airplane in the middle of the night while high as fuck, and surfed terrifyingly huge waves. Jane was, and still is, a sex educator with a PhD in psychology, a female sexuality empowerment activist, and a self-described slut who has resoundingly rejected societal norms of what a sexually well-behaved woman should be.

I thought I was comfortable facing fear, but our very public, open-as-fuck relationship—the only sort Jane would enter into—was more than my strong male persona could bear. Rather than protect my ego by walking away, I went through a long journey and learned what kind of man I could be and wanted to be.

Eventually, I realized that my history of pushing boundaries and facing fear in the realm of extreme sports gave me the skills and training to approach the emotional challenges of nonmonogamy—I just needed to frame our relationship like any of the other high-risk activities I engaged in. On my journey I apply lessons I learned about fear while free soloing high up on rock faces to the fear of everyone knowing that Jane was enjoying sex with a variety of men. A relationship isn’t a mountain, but panic is panic and fear is fear, whether you’re running out of oxygen while free diving hundreds of feet below the surface or home alone with your thoughts while your wife and a close friend of hers get swept up in an all-night foursome.

I set out to write the book I wished I’d had to help me navigate nonmonogamy, but it’s become more than that. It’s a personal growth memoir about masculinity and authenticity, coping with fear and jealousy, and being in a complex, dynamic relationship. This story has something to say to men and women, people in all sorts of relationships, traditional or nontraditional. And also, there’s lots of outdoor adventures and lots of erotic interludes.

This book is neither a celebration of nonmonogamy, nor is it a cautionary tale. At the root, it’s just the story of what one fierce gentleman went through when he had to reevaluate his traditional ideals of female sexuality and his own masculinity while in the throes of the wildest relationship of his life.
Rights available:
adam rosenthal
phone: 720.408.5419
Brooklyn, NY 11211
Offering #:
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