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Transmuting Grief into Creativity...Here's How
by:  Elizabeth Bohorquez, RN, Clinical Medical Hypnotherapist, International Medical & Health Writers Ltd.
e-mail:  elizrn@international-medical-health-writers.com
web:  http://www.hypnosis-audio.com
twitter:  http://www.twitter.com/elizRN
"You are the Writer, Director, Producer & Leading Actor of your life." Elizabeth Bohorquez, RN, C.Ht
March 4, 2019

Lessons from the Closet

Moving from grieving to creativity needs some space...

__and be sure to check out my new website and library...always a free mp3 Interactive Self-Hypnosis Session, free classes and more! Would appreciate a "Like"...

mindfulnessbooksandmore.com

_____________________________________________

"All of the lessons we need are available all of the time, but often we have to wear our creative hat to access them."....Elizabeth Bohorquez, RN, C.Ht

DIRECTION:  EVERYTHING MUST BE CLEANED and CLEARED

For a while I thought this was a sinister mind game of my manipulating Self, finding a way to get me to get rid of clutter,  so my attitude reflected that, as I approached the tasks with my deepest nasty Self in tow. My body presented a series of ongoing complaints ranging from headaches to a badly aching back, but what was worse was my mind activity, including an excruciating case of procrastination. Pushing myself day after day became an ongoing battle of wits. I mentioned in my last blog that it took three months to complete the task that was delivered by my Higher or Mentor Self. Of course, time is relative. In this case, it was a very long painful time in my life, but not just for the reasons mentioned above.

Entertaining my nasty-self day after day became tiresome. However, this part wasn't a stranger to me.  I grew aware that it was a familiar visitor in my dealings with my eating issues. I was tired of many things that had to do with food. Yes, I was sick tired of daily meal planning, cooking and everything that went along with it. My Self snarled, "Why shouldn't I be tired. It's been decades and decades. It's not going to end. So take that and stuff it. And now you want to talk about dieting and cooking special things for YOU? Give me a break! And now you have me clearing out the house. What a servant you are!"Oh.....

Big Self-Block.

The bathroom closet was not kind to me. I was forced to admit my poor organization skills. Wastefulness once again. There were bottles upon bottles of shampoo, conditioner and all sorts of creams that promised a better this, that and the other, obviously none of them successful. As the garbage bag filled up, I started counting the money I was throwing away. Guilty shameful Self yelling at me; truly kicking me right in the gut. Ouch...

The giver of Directions stepped in asking the kicker to step back. This was a learning experience. While I was meant to "wake-up", I was not to be attacked, either physically or emotionally. I could almost see my little child-Self wiping her eyes, promising to learn the lessons... to stay awake.

DIRECTION - FORGIVE YOURSELF FOR ANYTHING and EVERYTHING

I started to feel better that day. Yes, I could face the music, but I didn't have to go down on my knees. No wonder it had been so difficult to look at all of my mistakes in judgment, the lack of attention to what I was doing. I was terrified of the guilt and shame, feeling that I always had to pretend that I was "good and worthy" The secret was that "I was not." Oh..... But, I heard the voice tell me that I was a good human being that had just made some mistakes. Yes, I could learn these lessons I could get over these things. Of course, I would have to make some changes. Now this became part of the directions.

DIRECTION - CHANGE IS GROWTH, SO CHOOSE TO CHANGE

All of the closets had suggestions for me. I learned how easy it was to organize the bathroom if I just kept an eye on it, I could decide when we needed something replaced. My shopping list had a special column for the bathroom closet. Nothing was purchased unless it was formally listed. I rather liked that.....formally listed made it special to the child part of me. It sounded like something important to do. My clothes closet had plenty of suggestions about when to purchase things, when enough was enough. Oh..... big lesson here. This one would carry over to the kitchen as well. I was both amazed and disheartened that I owned clothes that I didn't even like. Now, who would do something like that.....especially a grown-up?

I was directed to remove the things I didn't like, but to saved enough clothes to last me until it was a formal shopping excursion. There's that formal word again; Once again the child liking the idea of going on a special excursion. As a hypnotherapist I came to understand that these were great "containments" that would help me to be in control. Of course, every time I was in control, that would carry over to other parts of my life.

Just when things were going well, a great surprise greeted me in my "special closet." Here is where I kept ALL of my hobbies.  Goodness, there were so many. I was directed to take all of them out and line them up in the middle of the room. I was called to explain when I would be completing these half-started or not-started-at all hobbies while evaluating how much money was sitting in the middle of the room. The bully stepped forward, but was immediately blocked by the "giver of directions." I had to honestly confess that I didn't know if I would ever have time to do these things. As for the amount of money, well point well taken. Lesson accepted.

DIRECTION - CLEAN and CLEAR.

You may have one indoor hobby and one outdoor hobby. It's time to simplify life...to open the door to change. Everything else goes to someone else, so they will finish these up for you ...of course, they will then belong to them. FORGIVE YOURSELF FOR EVERYTHING ... TAKE YOUR LESSON AS YOUR GIFT. Now bring all of your lessons and gifts to the KITCHEN, for it is time to apply these to taking care of yourself in new ways....

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March 3, 2019

Anticipatory Grieving

ANTICIPATORY MOURNING OR GRIEVING

As I work through my own personal grieving process, I review the work I've done for others during my past 40 years as an RN, Clinical Hypnotherapist and Coach. Keep in mind that grieving, even anticipatory grieving, is not just about the death of a loved one. It is much more frequent than that...

When delivering or writing programs for individuals, it’s important to remember that just the thought of living without someone or something can provoke great anxiety. It doesn’t matter if the relationship or habit/behavior isn’t good for that person. The level of grieving can be just as big, if not more than for a happy, healthy relationship, or habit/behavior. Much of this has to do with the individual’s perceived self-image or level of self-esteem. If one has become accustomed to receiving or giving punishment to the Self, then there is a part of the Self that simply wants or needs the pain. Not to have it is interpreted as emptiness or deep sadness. Such was the case of Aida.

Aida was a patient of mine. She came to the program with the idea of “just finding out what it was all about.” Her history of failure over the years left her non-believing and non-trusting, but she could “forgive” herself for this, if she attended the program or read the book, etc. Then she was free to “sell herself the story” that this, that or the other just wouldn’t work for her OR she had already tried something she considered “similar.” Her story tells her that it doesn’t or won’t work. This is simply an inner battle or resistance to change. It is there to protect her from the sadness that will come from the loss of the negative behaviors. This is a common outcome for so many. so it’s important to understand and pre-empt this part of their behavioral patterns.

Aida was petrified of waking up. She knew that she was obese, but she would/could defend her patterns to her death. Imagining her life without them and their many facets left her in a state of high anxiety. She didn’t want to think about or feel any part of the perceived loss so she stayed in denial.

Listen to Aida, “I’m simply not ready. Maybe when I can take a long vacation and dedicate some time to myself OR when my daughter goes off to college OR when I win the lottery and don’t have to work for a living.” Of course, the more she defends, the more ridiculous the fantasies. And because she is an intelligent woman, even she is surprised by the caliber of stories she can manufacture. However, it takes a bit of time before she is willing to let me know what she now knows about herself.

Sometimes when writing programs, we feel estranged from our reader or listener, but it’s very important for those of us who work in this writing or coaching genre, to see or sense our audience right before us. Only then can we build the kind of rapport that we need to be able to help them. Keeping Aida’s needs in mind, helps me address issues for a general audience because I’ve witnessed enough of these trends in my private practice to know the very same are harbored in a large percentage of those who will read or listen to my work.

Most of us have heard about the four stages of grieving. Now I’ve added the fifth….anticipatory, which of course, comes first and may contain the other four stages as well. So, even though the loss hasn’t occurred as yet, the resistance to the perceived loss can be huge. The defense mechanism can include denial, isolation of the Self, anger, bargaining and then finally, acceptance.

My job is to move the reader/listener through all stages while in the anticipatory stage. Keep in mind that the individual will not realize that he/she is in a stage of grieving, nor rarely will they choose to admit to “defending.” This would be perceived as “being weak” and is the opposite of what they want. If you’ve ever met, which I’m sure you have, individuals in this position, you might agree that they are not the friendliest beings to be around.

So it’s easy to understand why they can “isolate” so well. It’s key not to back down or to back away when sensing their resistance, EVEN IF you don’t know the individual because you are a writer or teaching through the Internet. The truth is, that they want you to sense their resistance and help them…….but not to fight with them because that is filled with “judgment”. This is exactly why their secrets and problems exist in the first place.

MIND EXERCISE

Find a time and place to allow for deep relaxation. All you need to do is to make the place and time ready. Listen to the sound of my voice or to read the following. Then go there by memory.

There is no reason to judge because there is nothing to judge. All that is important is what you do from this moment forward. What you are going to do is to awaken. There is nothing frightening about awakening for you do this every morning, only now you are going to awaken to things in your life and behaviors that you have adopted that aren’t helpful. There is nothing you need to do but to simply awaken. Notice how easy it is for you to think in this way….

To awaken means to be aware. There is nothing frightening about being aware. You practice this thousands of times each day. Think for a moment about the things you were already aware of today…. perhaps this morning…..this afternoon….and right now. What are you aware of right now?

Now I want you to relax deeply into the chair where you are reading or listening to this. Feel how good it feels to give yourself this special time.

In the past, you awakened to many things and then let them go. Notice that you can see some examples of these over there. You are simply watching them and not participating in them because they already happened. If you like, you can watch them on the movie screen behind your eyelids or even sit in the back row. These are things that you let go of in your past. Notice how many of them there are….. some small, others big, but all successfully let go.

And now you have new awakenings that show you additional things that need to be let go. These have to do with secrets that have formed around eating issues or other issues for which you have developed unhealthy coping behaviors or habits. Notice them over there and at the same time notice how these secrets, behaviors and habits keep you locked up in a small corral. Notice how all parts of you are ready to be free… the parts that you thought were anxious or frightened or grieving letting go are not that at all. They are simply excited about experiencing health and wellness, for this is what this is about……nothing else. Now, who wouldn’t choose to be healthier and to experience wellness? I’m sure you can agree that you would welcome health and wellness if it came knocking at your door……… notice that it is knocking now. You are answering the door and welcoming it in. Feel the joy as your welcomed visitors enter.”

SYNOPSIS

The above short mind exercise walked the reader/listener through many reframes that allowed for letting go of fear and apprehension about entering change. Obviously, there are many reasons for being anxious and fearful….many having to do with self-image and self-esteem issues, but we can choose not to address them here. We could decide to make the needed changes be about something that no one will argue about and that is completely unthreatening……..health and wellness fall into that category. In the future, I will be assisting the reader/listener in building their inner core image and esteem, but right now, I want you, the reader or listener to move past the initial grieving into the action.

The next blog will be about the ongoing re-appearance of the grieving process and how you are already in the position to take charge.

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February 15, 2019

Grieving and Rules of the Road

Deep Relaxation Audio - Session One

Rules of the Road

If you are following along with me, I just finished reviewing the night I realized my deepest fear...that of "myself." There is a part of me ( it still exists ) that is cunning and dangerous. Strangely enough, I like this part. She is creative and fun, but also can be dangerous. She is my addictive self and is always ready to suggest some "nonsense" to take me off the Path I've committed to traveling.

Oh, how I wish I could go off with her and have crazy fun without having to "pay the piper." What would it be like to eat all the things that smile out to me from the shelves of the supermarket, the restaurant menus, the fast food joints, the liquor store, the endless desire to buy things that appeal to me even when I don't need them. What fun not to get up with the damn alarm clock, get in the car and just go wherever I wanted without any responsibilities to anyone. What would it feel like to erase the past and just to "escape" from everything. What if I never got sick from eating a gallon of ice cream, an entire pizza or a foot long hero sandwich with all the trimmings?

One day I wrote a list of all the foods I would eat IF I wouldn't get sick. The list horrified me. I was beginning to know how very sick I had become. Then I made a list of everything I would buy if I had no limits or had to face the bill at the end of the month. I sensed the joy I had when purchasing things, or even ordering a cocktail in a restaurant. Just the thoughts made my mind race to a super-happy place.

Opening my dark place was becoming an enlightening, but frightening experience. So, it wasn't just about food, but much more that needed tending. My "garden" was full of weeds, despite my being a successful professional, mother, wife and friend. I suppose one might say I was a "fraud." It's difficult for me to look at myself through that lens, but then again that is only a judgment that indicates where changes need to be made.

This information is very important for me to heal on very deep levels. This is what this year is about. From my work in the field of nursing and clinical hypnotherapy, I knew a lot about "dark places" of others besides myself. Perhaps knowing my own dark place, and being willing to explore it further, would help my patients as well as myself.

I'm not new to this exploration. I've done it for decades, BUT since my son's death the exploration has taken on a new "context." I could only explain it by saying that "I feel like I'm being led to a Higher Place, and that in order to go there, I must clean up some of my dark areas." I decided ( or to be more accurate ), I've been directed to review my own work "end to end". That means listening to every one of my mp3 programs, and to read everything I've written, both in my books and journals. This is a big assignment. I've been given no deadline ( funny metaphor ). I'm also to finish writing the books I've been given to do. Looks like I'm going to be quite busy!

As I return to the night of my "big fear", I wrote in my journal that I finally stood up and walked into the kitchen. My journal was on the kitchen table. I sat down and wrote a few rules that seemed to be dictated to me from a voice speaking to me from within. God, I wanted a drink! The first rules were simple. I was not to eat except at meals. The meals were to be at specific times. I could have snacks, but they were to be at certain times. ( Oh, I was not liking this.)

Then came an odd rule. I had to eat "at the table" which was to be set with my best china, cutlery, glassware, linen napkin, and with a fresh flower in a vase. When I packed my lunch for work ( no fast food or food ordered in ), I was to do the same. I was to keep the china, cutlery, glassware, linen napkin, etc. in the office. My food would be packed in "new" attractive plastic containers, and each day I would be serving myself something delightful. "Oh my goodness. This was becoming a real chore." The truth was I never made plans about anything. I ate whatever was in the fridge. I ate in front of the television if I was alone if family was home, I ate while cooking, then just sat with them. No one ever seemed to notice.

Now...I had these rules. The child part of me was screaming, BUT....she liked the idea of the formality of the setting. That interested me. Why? As time passed I began to understand...it was a beginning to my inner healing. Today I'm reviewing an mp3 called "The Mountain." It is a hypnotic journey into my past, and then up the mountain to the "summit." I love this program. You can find it in my Catalog on my website. The link is below. It's in the Learn Self-Hypnosis Series.

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January 24, 2019

The Lenses of Grieving

I started writing about grieving, or so I thought after my husband died this past October. But as I looked at myself closely, I've been grieving something for my entire life. As an RN, Clinical Hypnotherapist I disassemble areas of my life, and those who I work with, so I can visualize and communicate directly with any and all parts. Then, as I rebuild ( I'm talking about "me" now ) the particular area, I can modify it subconsciously. When I'm working with clients/patients, we do the same thing, but the individual I'm working with does their work. I'm the one who "guides", but I don't do the work of someone else. That is very personal and their own subconscious mind will bring forth the suggestions for the re-building process. While I've been working on my own self-growth, I've never done it through the "lens" of very deep grieving. No, that's not true...hmmmm...when our son died in 2011 I did my grieving work through the lens of being a mother. The lens was also altered by the way my son died and the difficulty in bringing his remains home from Columbia, South America. We had just moved ( another high stressor ), my husband had just been diagnosed with serious skin cancer and was on a walker. So the lens was difficult from many different angles. But, over the past few years, I've been his full-time caregiver, and the exhaustion of that with his impending death made this grieving lens different. I'm convinced after my own experiences and working with patients over the decades, that there are as many grieving lens as there are people and experiences.

To help myself with my own "inner work", I've made an ongoing list of my grieving lens from the time I was a child up to today. Some lens are bigger than others, some more dense, some that appear small are interconnected with others that are larger or configured differently. So, you may wonder, "Why to care?" Here's the truth. If you are looking for peace in your life, you are going to want to clean and clear your grief closet. Tomorrow I'll share my ongoing list with you, and perhaps you will decide to start your own. Remember that you can't change what you don't see and then accept. It is a process like anything else.

Have questions for me? Please let me know. Also, I am building a new website and will be giving classes on these subjects. We will be working with Interactive Self-Hypnosis and Interactive Awareness, a combination of meditation and visualization. Below is a link to a program you may enjoy.

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January 21, 2019

Grieving and Creating...At the Same Time

The Journey to Grieve and Create

mp3 Download - Death of a Loved One

I can grieve and move forward at the same time. I've done it before and I can do it again. These are two different paths that run side by side. One does not cover the other, but instead, feeds the other by an underground root system. They feed each other with positive, healing energy. Some may wonder how grieving can feed positive, healing energy, but it does. If you have ever grieved, you recognize how the energy flows through your body. You may feel it as pain, rage, anger, sadness...these are powerful energy-packed emotions, and we can "transmute" them. What does that mean? It means that we can "change" any energy into whatever we choose. Does this mean that we abandon our grieving? No, not at all. We simply view it through a different prism. We have a choice as to how we view and utilize all of our energy. This is a very important "knowing."

Had a rough New Year due to a touch of the flu. Spent those days relaxing, sleeping, watching movies, and meditating. But, once again, all energy can be transmuted. When we fall ill, the energy builds. We know to rest, drink lots of fluids, eat healthy foods that the body will request if we pay attention. All of these things feed the stored energy, making it available for when we kill off the virus or bacteria. We shouldn't be surprised if our creative mind opens as we heal, delivering unexpected Gifts through dreams or meditation.

Holiday decorations down and packed away. House clean and orderly thanks to my helper Vera. New Wordpress Website named and ready to be developed. Busy re-reading my book, The Storyteller" The next two books in the series are outlined and sit on my desk. New people entering my life. Mind-fog clearing and work that has been waiting for me, putting itself in line for attention when it is their turn.

My husband, JB....by my side and encouraging me with a big smile. Yes, Elizabeth, this is the time we discussed all those years while you sat by my side. It's your turn now...

We walk the two paths while conversing with our Subconscious Mind. We do this with "Automatic Writing." Here's an mp3 session on that...

CONVERSATIONS WITH MYSELF.

ME: Lucky or unlucky? I'm a specialist at designing images, but now these are going to get very personal as they touch those painful places, some never visited before.

it: Well Elizabeth, let's begin. You know that you never get anywhere unless you begin.

ME: "Oh really? I can stay right here and continue to feel the victim and anxious and angry and despondent and dysphoric and depressed...How many words would you like me to name for you. I'm a writer, so I can go on for a very long time."

IT: "Of course you can and you know that words are connected to images and emotions, so if this is what you plan to play in your mind I'm sure it will take you to some very dark places where you won't be able to get your hands out of your pockets."

ME: OK. I'll do it tomorrow when I have more energy.

IT: Choose. Right now. You know better than to wait. You know the grieving path well, so get busy building your creative path. I'm going to watch you do this. Get out your journal and write.

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A R C H I V E / H I G H L I G H T S

Working with Loss and Deep Grieving
originally posted: December 21, 2018

I'd like to share one of my mp3 sessions with you. I'm in the process of pulling together a Working with Loss and Deep Grieving Blog. As I work through my own personal grieving, I ask you to look over my shoulder. I offer +400 mp3 programs in all Self-Growth genres.

The holiday season is rough for those who are grieving. Remember, grief is a long process, often lasting for decades, if not for someone's entire life. I'm still grieving losses from childhood that get triggered at different times of year. The holidays are always tough for me. As I sit here tonight I'm having a difficult time.

It's been a while since I've blogged. My husband became very ill. He passed away last week. So, I turn to the way I deal with "things"...like "grieving"....I write.

This is my first day completely alone. It's so quiet here. Even the dog is quiet. He's also been grieving. The sound is horrible...a loud, long shrill. I grab him, holding him to my chest. He licks me, but his eyes are closed like he's lost. I understand. I'm also lost.

Everyone believes I'm strong. They keep telling me that. I don't believe them. Maybe that's the way they see me, but inside of myself, I question that. Yes, I am strong with many things, like caring for my husband, fighting for him in the ER, hospitals, and rehabs. Taking him home to care for him minute by minute, knowing in my heart that he would never get better, but trying to keep him alive, at the very least happy and at peace. He died anyway...but I did my best. At least I can believe that.

Remember, grieving is not only about death...it’s about the loss of all varieties. Most of us are grieving something...some big, some small, but we grieve just the same. Death or dying are the BIG ones, but disease is right up there. It could be ours or someone we are close to. We grieve a "bad day", our job that we dislike, something we said and would like to take back. We might grieve our body, our nose, our acne, our entire life. Small grief can be inflated, making it so painful that it transfers to others. Some can be turned around, but some can't. Death is one of those. I know.

If you follow me on FB, you can read each "transitional day." It's amazing to watch time flow as one grieves and deals with the day to day happenings, most of it "nonsense" at the same time.

I decided, after a big push by one of my followers, to write my grieving journey as a book of sorts. It will be “interactive”, as all of my work is. I also have some powerful grieving mp3’s on my website. I wrote and recorded these after the unexpected death of our son. If you would like to share your experience with me, or have a question, please contact me privately. Please write "grieving" in the subject line.

I will be back to my regular writing, coaching and publishing in a few weeks.

Thank you for following me...

Personal Daily Coaching including interactive self-hypnosis on your phone or device for all eating issues and/or other High-Level Performance issues including sports designed just for you following phone consultation. Pain management, medical diagnosis, oncology, symptom reduction. Grief management, death, dying, divorce, relationship issues. Anxiety & panic, sleep, relaxation, etc. See list on my website. Please email me directly for further information.


Well, I finally published my major work...Sugar...the Hidden Eating Disorder - An Experiential Book and Workbook for Healing your Tired Mind and Body This is the Amazon Link.

You can read this ebook for FREE on Amazon. Have a question about the book or sugar/food/emotional eating issues? Send it to me and I'll answer back. Have a question about hypnotherapy or Interactive Self-Hypnosis? Send it along.

This is not a diet book, but an experiential therapy book/workbook including high-level nutrition, mindful awareness, interactive self-hypnosis, imaginology and NLP. As the reader turns the pages, lifestyle changes are placed directly into the subconscious mind while erasing those unhealthy habits that can lead to serious illness including obesity.
Written by an RN, Clinical Medical Hypnotherapist with over thirty years’ experience, the reader will find herself understanding the underpinnings of addictions, disorderly eating, the high desire for sugar and refined carbohydrates that lead to killer stress, emotional imbalance, anxiety, and fatigue. The author takes the reader down the road where unhealthy and disorderly behaviors began, often decades ago, providing the opportunity to “clean and clear” through hypnotic suggestion.
Now that the way is clear, the reader can see what is possible and plant those images. Once the mind and body are introduced to “high level nutrition and performance,” goals only dreamed about are gifted with energy and space to develop into reality. As the pages turn, the reader is introduced to one’s Higher Self, the Therapeutic Self, the Imbalanced Self, the Child-Self and learns how they interact with thoughts and emotions, either blocking or helping as life moves along, for time does not stand still.
Make no mistake. We are a nation of people in deep trouble, and you now have the choice not to join these negative statistics. Stress-related diseases fill doctor’s offices, only to be told there is nothing wrong, but perhaps to change some lifestyle behaviors before it is “too late.” Often as not, patients are prescribed medications to manage symptoms caused by stress. But here is the irony. The behaviors that need to be changed are usually those utilized to manage stress such as sugar, food, alcohol, smoking, and medications prescribed by the very same MD’s. The question is how to wake up and change before the cost is too great.
This experiential book will provide and embed those answers directly into the subconscious mind. The book/workbook closes with a 40-day plan for change, bringing all of the book's suggestions into an organized plan leading to the highest results for permanent lifestyle change.

I'll work through parts of the experiential book/workbook here. If you have Kindle Select, you can read it for free. If you have questions, you can ask them here.

Elizabeth Bohorquez RN, C.Ht

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Therapist'sCouch - The Buzz Saw
originally posted: June 24, 2017

Inviting you to look over my shoulder as I do some "personal healing work."

THE BUZZ SAW

There are many libraries in the "theater of the mind" and all are multi-functional. It's good for me to remember that my mind is beautifully organized because most of the time I feel just the opposite. Today is one of those days!

Before I even begin journaling, I'm reminded that sensations of disorder often follow times of great stress or tension and I've certainly experienced that over the last week. Still cleaning up after the electrical fire. Waiting for the building inspector to hopefully close this door. The electrician gave me a magnet reminder to stick on the refrigerator. Not a good idea to keep this in the front of my mind. Besides, who could ever forget the name Mr. Sparky or the jingle that plays on their phone line.

My mind is just leaving the anxiety-mode. Sensing the tension remaining in my body. Like buzz-saws. I've decided to utilize the sensations for going deeper. This is a technique for managing pain, so I'll look at the buzz-saws as a pain sensation, going deeper down as my mind locates the sawing sensations. Starting at the top of the head, scanning down, just like a hand scanner for airport security. I'm stunned at the amount and intensity of the buzzing. This sort of meditative body opening is very powerful and revealing. My shoulders reveal super-sonic buzzing. Of course, so much weight placed on them over the last week. Forgetting how vulnerable the body can be to high stress, and how out of touch one becomes when the stress experiences push themselves to the front of the line. Reminds me of people in the supermarket who would run you over with their carts in order to be first....especially in the bakery.

Thoughts are racing, arguing with the buzz-saw, demanding to be noticed. I observe them passing through my consciousness, as I travel deeper down, like swimming underneath them. Noticing them on the surface of the water, but not caring about their presence. Simply allowing mySelf to go deeper down. When my attention is brought up to the surface, I simply notice and respond by going deeper down. Meditating through mind and body clutter.

Feeling better now. Leveling off. Ready to greet my inner mentors and Universal Mind. While they are always present, it's often difficult to communicate through all of the obstructions brought about by stressors, both big and small. I often forget to notice what's flowing through mySelf and this experience serves as another reminder to stay connected.

The buzz-saw now presents itself to me, asking to be utilized for something useful. This is an example of "transmutation" or changing something into something else. In the body, it represented locked-up stress and now outside my body, it represents a useful tool. I'm understanding that I do have paths in my subconscious mind that have not been tended to over the years. They are over-grown with weeds, brambles and debris. I'm led to one of them, not even knowing where it leads. I'm reminded of how clutter blocks many things in life and how good it feels to get rid of things that often stuff closets, drawers, cupboards, to name a few. Paradoxically, clutter can take over all areas of life without even being noticed. Ask any hoarder...

I'm now wondering how many paths are blocked with overgrowth and what lies beyond. My childSelf has appeared, demanding that I leave them alone. Obviously frightened, even though she maintains that she knows nothing about these. Fear of the unknown. Another childhood issue that needs to be put to rest. I'm reminded that the best way to achieve this is to go forward. The buzz-saw buzzes in response. I'll start with what is in front of me and take it from there. The brambles, vines, weeds respond to the buzz, removing themselves with little effort. Reminds me of cleaning out the garage. Items wanting to be released by donation or going to the trash. Realizing that my mind was doing the blocking and not the stuff.

The path bricks are revealed. While a bit dingy, it's clear to me that they are golden or goal-den says the journal. I can now notice a sign directing the way. This path leads to the Library of Desires and Talents. Oh, it's been a long time since I thought about any of this. My life has been so encapsulated around my work, home, relationships and daily rituals. In a way, my life has become tiresome in its sameness. It's not that I don't enjoy my life, but every room can benefit from a fresh coat of paint.

I'm entering the Library and have decided to spend some time here. I think this is "just what the doctor ordered." Fresh paint...fresh insights into those parts of my life experience that have been ignored. I'm heading for the early years and can sense the idea of fun and games entering my body. Glad that I released the buzzing, so now I have room for taking in the joy that I know is located here. Skating, hop-scotch, my blue bike, clarinet and my kick ball are against the wall. Just like new. Just like "knew."

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Re: Grieving and Creating...At the Same Time (January 3, 2019)

Very nice of Eliz, I forgot about the power of transmuting.

It?s very beautiful that even out of some of the hardest times in our life there?s strength to be found.Re: The Magic Inside Question Asking...!! (June 13, 2012)

Like what I am seeing about your Book. We seem to share a lot in common regarding belief. Looking forward to the completed book

Re: Sugar...the Hidden Eating Disorder - Excerpts (December 4, 2011)

Wonderfully insightful and beautifully written post. I struggled for over 40 years with eating disorders and disordered eating and what you've written is so true, especially the part about being an information-gatherer.

Re: 'Tis the Season - The Biggest Gift Ever! (December 18, 2010)

I dont have a lot of words right now i just came across youre material. As i read this i am just sitting hear crying my eyes out something is defenetly going on. This material that you write about is obviously hitting a cord with me.

Re: The Art of Self-Tweaking (May 20, 2010)

I love your blog regarding the art of tweaking! I've enjoyed a number of your tapes (way back when) and now mp3 recordings. Your imagery is deep and rich; it resonates with me. I really enjoy reading your creative thoughts and ideas!

Re: The Art of Self-Tweaking (May 20, 2010)

Thank you Elizabeth for this article. I was reminded of a talk I used to give several years ago, particularly to business people, but it also (I believe) has a message for people in general, except that the image I used mightn't be meaningful for them.

The message is simple and is contained in its title "You are your own product manager." When you know the responsibilities and role of a product manager, the message is quite clear. But what I wanted my audiences to understand and believe, is that their future is their responsibility.

Thank you for the opportunity to comment.

Re: Brick Throwing & Ducking (May 18, 2010)

Once again my comment arises from my business background. In sales your prospect (customer) will always offer some objections. It doesn't matter whether the objection is valid or not, or significant or trivial. What it is - is something to be dealt with. Each objection you treat seriously and overcome, becomes a new selling point for whatever your product or service is. The customer might be objecting simply to show that s/he is in command. Your treatment of it validates the customer's self-perception, and increases your acceptance value in his/her eyes. But whatever - an objection requires you to consider it, and if necessary to take some relevant action - requires you to react positively.

A B O U T   T H E   A U T H O R

Elizabeth Bohorquez, RN, C.Ht has been working & writing in the field of mindbody health, self-hypnosis, addictions, creativity & optimum performance for over 30 years. She is a graduate of Rockland Psychiatric Center, SUNY; Graduate Nurse Intern, Memorial Sloan-Kettering Cancer Center, Cornell University, N.Y. She is President & Program Designer, Sarasota Medical & Sports Hypnosis Institute, Sarasota, FL & online at http://www.hypnosis-audio.com & http://www.sugar-addiction.com

She has written & produced +350 audio CD programs for adults, children, students & athletes, as well as several books in original Interactive Self-Hypnosis. She specializes in the food connection to addiction, optimum health & performance. She is the author of Sugar...the Hidden Eating Disorder & How to Lick It, as well as Beyond Disorderly Eating...the Truth About Sugar & Binging & How to Stop


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