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Therapist's Couch...."Who Am I?"
by:  Elizabeth Bohorquez, RN, Clinical Medical Hypnotherapist, International Medical & Health Writers Ltd.
e-mail:  elizabeth@mindfulnessbooksandmore.com
web:  mindfulnessbooksandmore.com
twitter:  http://www.twitter.com/elizRN
"You are the Writer, Director, Producer & Leading Actor of your life." Elizabeth Bohorquez, RN, C.Ht
May 16, 2019

Sugar Sugar...Not So Sweet

OK...where did my grieving go? It's right here. I'm on my Path to Healing & my work has always been a part of my healing. As I come out of my major grieving I find myself in a place I don't recognize...I question, "Where am I, who am I & where am I going...?"

My new website... mindfulnessbooksandmore.com

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I thought this a good jumping off place....this is something I'm very familiar with & a place where I can get my footing...

The sugar culprit begins its destructive work early in life. Even small infants are treated to sugary treats by doting parents who often have no idea that they are setting up a life long addiction in their precious offspring. In fact, most parents would deny that they do this at all. Many would insist that they only provide the very best nutrition for their children. In addition, young children are learning every day by food-example....Elizabeth Bohorquez, RN, C.Ht

Parents bring children to my office for a myraid of problems, but rarely because of eating issues. I meet up with nail biters, skin pickers, attention-deficit, temper tantrums & those that don't want to go to sleep at night. After the parent has finished filling me in on the problem of the moment, I begin my exploration of the food-connection. Over & over again I hear that these kids eat healthy foods & balanced meals. Then the truth is uncovered as we discuss what truly goes into the mouth of the youngster over a twenty-four hour period. This is why knowledge, coupled with heightened awareness is so very important.

MEET SARAH

I’d like to share a patient history here with you. Sarah was only five when she came to my office. As she was fair skinned & blonde, I had to look closely to notice that she had no eyebrows or eyelashes. In fact, a good portion of the hair on her head was also missing. Her Mother had cleverly combed it so it wasn't so noticeable. Sarah suffers from trichotillomania, or compulsive hair pulling. Although there have been no epidemiological studies to identify the actual number of people with this condition yet, it is estimated that in the United States alone, there are probably between 6 to 8 million sufferers of trichotillomania.

According to Dr. Doris Rapp, the author of Is This Your Child, children with tricotillomania respond well to dietary change including reduced sugar intake. Sarah's mother maintained that her nutrition was healthy, but my assessment didn't agree. Over 85% of Sarah's intake was in the form of very high-glycemic or refined sugars. On a side-note, her mother confessed to eating sugar out of the sugar bowl !

The first order of business to help Sarah was to redesign her eating plan, as well as eliminate a good number of the sugar foods. While it's a true challenge to clean up a child's diet, it is possible. It helps to allow the child to participate in the planning & shopping. Self-hypnosis etches new mind programs, helping the child manage the left-over stress, once the food stress is in control.

KNOWLEDGE HOOK

Learning to listen to your body is one of our most important holistic tools. The cell managers communicate with you through body sensations. The process of body listening is known by many names including mental biofeedback. We choose to take messages through the practice of body scanning. This technique is taught in the top stress reduction clinics of the world & is a way of re-training the body to release stress chemicals. The body and mind often have much to say about the food connection.

You will be learning more about working with body sensations later on in this program. For now, let us focus on the food connection to body sensations. If you are not eating a balanced or sufficient diet, your body will produce stress hormones that will communicate with you through body sensations. These stress chemicals include insulin, adrenaline, nor-epinephrine and cortisol. Some corresponding body sensations could include headache, muscle spasms, weakness, lightheadedness, poor vision, nervousness, exhaustion, fatigue, mood swings, as well as a variety of tension related symptoms.

Most of us tend to eat on automatic pilot, without any concern for the resulting mind & body chemistry. As we travel through our day, we might have a tendency to pick up small snacks, cookies, candy, pretzels, coffee, soda or juice. Perhaps a coffee mug lives on your desk. Each time you eat or drink, your body must perform its chemical balancing act, making special effort to keep the body in balance. If you continue along in this way, day after day, the body often develops food stress, or the inability to manage, especially if the rest of the nutritional intake is poor or inadequate.

INNER MOTIVATION EXERCISE

Take a moment to elicit your relaxation response. Tilt your eyes up slightly, placing one of your cells up on your mind screen. It doesn't matter where it comes from. Each & every time you eat something, the food rings the doorbell of the cell & the cell manager cannot say no to the delivery. If the delivery is healthy & timely, the manager is delighted, but if it is unhealthy & untimely, the manager is in trouble.

Feel how good it is to know that you do know this now and that you have powers beyond what you thought before you had this knowledge. We are motivated towards and away from. This imagery exercise is a good example of both. Be sure to place it in a place of honor on your road map.

KNOWLEDGE HOOK

Boosting the immune system is another important focus of living holistically. The immune system is the defense system of the mind & body against microorganisms. One of the most negative results of excessive levels of stress, or poor body management is its effect on the immune response. This is often seen is someone who has frequent colds & other infections. There is much research in progress regarding how stress affects the immune system, especially regarding autoimmune diseases including allergies and cancer.

There is also the psychological aspect of seeing oneself as a frequently ill person. This can be potentially damaging to the self-image & self-esteem, thereby directing outcomes not in keeping with high level functioning.

How you choose to eat directly affects your immune system. There is little discussion about this fact of life. The problem is that we tend to be asleep to the needs of the body in the now, but more so in the needs of the body in the future. What you eat today has an outcome down the road as well. Imagery and self-hypnosis will help you to wake up & place permanent wellness programs into your subconscious mind. The work you are doing here is not difficult, but it is awake-work & this is where the difficulty lies for most people.

INNER MOTIVATION EXERCISE

Relax as before and bring forth one of your cells. This time I want you to go inside, observing the manager fighting an invader. This one happens to be a bacteria delivered at the water cooler. Notice the manager is looking for supplies in the way of deliveries of food & beverage. You know what you delivered today, so notice this & how the manager responds to what is available.

Notice the state of affairs in the cell based on the deliveries of the past week. Notice the response of the cell manager. Open the door & notice that healthy supplies have arrived. Observe the cell manager in action as the bacteria invasion is managed. Know how important your behaviors and habits are to outcomes. Take this moment to make a commitment to a better relationship with your body.

KNOWLEDGE HOOK

Food allergies & sensitivities are not uncommon especially in those with sugar addiction & eating disorders. Common ones include wheat, corn & dairy. If there is a history of alcohol problems in a family, even if that individual does not drink or is a child, it is not uncommon to have grain allergies. These often surface with accompanying personality or behavioral changes including compulsions, anxiety and depression.

You are working to be aware of how your mind & body react to what you eat & drink. As awareness develops connections may become clearer, an allergist may need to be consulted. Sometimes it is as simple as removing a particular food group, then reintroducing it later on. Otherwise the food group may need to be removed permanently to manage the symptoms. In the long run, even though this may not be poplar, the end results will far outweigh the enjoyment of the offending food or food group.

INNER MOTIVATION EXERCISE

The subconscious mind remembers & will pull information together for you. If you have lots of body communications, ask your subconscious mind to remind you to observe particular foods in relation to these outcomes. Ask to be alerted with flags.

Sometimes we are so lost in automatic pilot that we simply forget about what happened the last time we had problems with a food. As you learn what you body has to say about something you eat or drink, you will be able to study it more carefully. It's amazing how common food sensitivities are. Relax for a moment, seeing yourself requesting this service offered by your own subconscious mind.

You are learning to observe yourself in relation to food "as if" you were under your own microscope. You will get very good at self-observation & this will take you to safety, to higher health, as well as to optimum performance. Sometimes you will have to begin again, returning back to basics. This is not failure, but re-structuring. Whether you come back once, or a hundred times, this is where you come. It helps to know this. This way you won't be left wandering through life not knowing what to do or where to go. Afte

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April 15, 2019

Taming the Beast Within

If you've been following my "recovery" from the loss of my husband and son, you know that I have re-entered the "world at large." My work is my salvation and how I give to others in "gratitude" for my own healing.

Today I've decided to outline a workshop I'll be presenting to the Senior Center, as well as to participants to my new teaching website. I invite you to "LIKE" my FB page that will carry all information about free online workshops. I'll post the link below.

EDUCATIONAL WEBSITE mindfulnessbooksandmore

If you are on Facebook, join my Educational Page at mindfulnessbooksandmore

All workshops will contain "Interactive Self-Hypnosis Sessions." The article I've attached to this post is about "Emotional Transactions." How do we move from a negative mind-state to a positive one? The article contains a "self-hypnosis exercise" that only takes a moment once practiced.

So here we go....

"You have a choice regarding the facets of your self-image & level of self-esteem. It's like shopping in a department store with unlimited credit. How would you like to gift yourself?"....Elizabeth Bohorquez, RN, C.Ht

I address the workshop about the above quote. In other words, what works for you & what doesn't? In order to know what you want, first you have to complete a self-evaluation or assessment.

THE ART OF SIMPLY NOTICING

We want to bring the beast out into the sunlight where we can study it in detail. We cannot change what we cannot see. Like anything else, we need to become fully aware, really getting to know this part of ourselves.

Through keen observation, you will become acutely sensitive to the fact that you are not your inner-beast, but rather his/her observer. This is KEY in order to change. If not, the self-image & esteem become like coats that can't be unbuttoned.

As your awareness develops, you will begin to enjoy yourself more & more in your everyday life. Certain characteristics of the beast will begin to stand out. He can appear as your best friend but left to his own devices, he can make you miserable. He will promise happiness, but lead you to periods of intense anxiety, sadness, anger & eventually emptiness.

You will start to observe that the beast has a very complex scheme of rules, regulations, shoulds & ought to's. He'll quietly tell you that if you don't do what he tells you, no one will love you, that you must be number one, you must strive for perfection, you should not show anger, you should be grateful for everything & anything because basically, you are undeserving. In addition, you should submerge yourself in self-doubt & worry. He will ardently kep you thinking in the past & future, as far away as possible from the real world & the present moment.

BEAST BELIEF SYSTEMS

The beast or negative self-esteem has some strange ideations that are woven into his belief systems. These are presented to you as truths. Here are a few examples.

Your true self is unlovable; fast is good & slow is bad. To show sadness is to be weak or childish or unreliable or overly dependent. Nice girls don't enjoy sex & certainly, nice girls don't show that they enjoy sex. Asking for what you want is selfish. Showing anger is sinful, childish, unprofessional & totally unacceptable. Something terrible is going to happen. Mena are better leaders than women. Worry has value. Anxiety has value. Guilt has value.

BRINGING THE INSIGHT HOME

I ask the group to think about their own beliefs that have been presented as truths by their beast-in-residence.

TAMING

Taming the beast is simple, but not easy. Becoming aware or learning to pay attention to your thoughts, thought patterns & habits is a good beginning. The art is to simply notice & not to get involved in thinking about what you are noticing.

How does one do this?

You might like to practice with inanimate objects to get a real feel for the process. Choose any object in your view. Pretend that you are a camera & carefully study the object from all angles. Pretend that you have never seen it before. Examine the shape; how does it feel; what about the texture; how does the light hit it from different angles? This is the way you want to begin to look at your thoughts & judgments.

These are focusing exercises or exercises in concentration. You may find it easier to do them in a quiet place with few distractions, but once you learn the process, they can be done anywhere & anytime. An interesting & useful side-effect of these exercises is a feeling of peace or relaxation, exactly what your beast will despise. Learn to go slowly & take your time, becoming more aware of just what is going on in your mind. The beast will attempt to distract you but realize once again that this is just the nature of the beast & you must persist through this if you want to win.

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April 3, 2019

Emotional Transactions

If you've been following my "recovery" from the loss of my husband and son, you know that I have re-entered the "world at large." My work is my salvation and how I give to others in "gratitude" for my own healing.

Today I've decided to outline a workshop I'll be presenting to the Senior Center, as well as to participants to my new teaching website. I invite you to "LIKE" my FB page that will carry all information about free online workshops. I'll post the link below.

EDUCATIONAL WEBSITE mindfulnessbooksandmore

If you are on Facebook, join my Educational Page at mindfulnessbooksandmore

All workshops will contain "Interactive Self-Hypnosis Sessions." The article I've attached to this post is about "Emotional Transactions." How do we move from a negative mind-state to a positive one? The article contains a "self-hypnosis exercise" that only takes a moment once practiced.

So here we go....

"Goals move forward & become self-generating when powered by consistent "Hot Desire". Everyone has the ability to key into this remarkable emotional state..... & the daily practice of Interactive Self-Hypnosis will take you there"....Elizabeth Bohorquez, RN, C.Ht

It's common to hang out in our emotional state of choice. For some, this is can be more towards "neutral", but for others it can be a low, or even moderate negative state. These include irritable, depressed, disinterested, bored, anxious, uptight or even belligerent. Lucky is the individual who wears a daily emotional coat of happy, peaceful, joyful, loving, pleased & the like. It's much easier for the latter to climb up further, so as to experience the powerful, creative emotion of Hot Desire.

LIVING IN NEGATIVE'S

Living in the negative areas presents many challenges, not only within the Self, but with others as well. In addition, when one area of a life is in disarray, the owner doesn't have to look far to find another. Emotional disorder & stress go hand in hand, bringing imbalance to the mind & body & keeping one far away from the helpful & creative subconscious mind. Addictions become the easy answers for managing the discomfort. Here's an uphappy thought; we can grow to like the negatives, even to love them & like with other bad relationships, they can be all consuming. It's like being locked in a prison of sorts & hiding the key from yourSelf. However, we can choose to stop.

It's imperative to be able to locate emotional states "in the moment", in order to release them. And, they must be released before being able to change one's emotional experience to positive & then to go up the ladder to Hot Desire. I call these "emotional transactions"; trading one for the other....hopefully transacting for one of higher value!

MIND EXERCISE

Relax into the moment & release your body stress. If you have been following the workshop blog, you know how to do this. If not, pretend magnets are pulling you down into the chair where you are resting. Here's a dial that you can turn to the left, thereby increasing the magnet pull. Feel how good it feels to have the body experience the magnetism. Stay with this for a moment or so. Next, notice that a child is standing by your side & the child is wearing a teeshirt with his/her name on it. This is your emotional childSelf & the shirt states your presenting emotion. If the child is big, the emotion is most likely big as well.

Sometimes we have multiple emotions & so many children may be present. Aida, one of the workshop participants is noticing that "inadequate, tearful & uptight" are standing together. Cary sees that "hopeless & helpless" are holding hands. Gina senses "relaxed & focused".

Negative-based emotions are heading for the light. It's down the path over there. Image it. If you can't bring an image into your mind, just think it. The emotions sit under the light & the rays fill their bodies. Black drops fall from their fingertips. The emotions become smaller. Sense or think all of this. In this moment you are planting a subconscious mind program. Positive emotions are now coming to the light & filling, becoming bigger. Image or think about this happening. Practice with both genres of emotions, even if they aren't yours. A positive subconscious mind program will be placed anyway.

Coming from behind the light is an image of a powerful, positive emotion. Read the teeshirt. This is "Hot Desire." Hot Desire is carrying a book & presenting it to you. Sit down on the bench over there & place the book on your lap. Notice that your name is on the cover & that you are the author. The book is filled with "Hot Desire" experiences, some coming from your own mind library & others coming from things you have seen, or gifted from people you know who have had this genre of experience.

Open the book & locate a "Hot Desire" image. Each image tells a story. Listen, as the story is "remembered" to you. ( This is not a grammatical error....but a special way of playing with the inner mind.) This is a time when you felt a huge desire for something..... it's BIG. Sense it & when you have connected with the "sensing", tap on the picture gently. As you tap the picture will open & you will now sense yourSelf in the middle of the Hot Desire experience. The pulse of the desire is over there. Touch it. Next, touch your heart. You are transferring the sensation to your major pump organ. Sense it inside of you. If this seems odd to you, just play with it. This is a game of sorts, but your subconscious mind believes "everything" you are doing. You are busy capturing the emotional state of Hot Desire.

If you like, go through the book, becoming aware & then tapping open different Hot Desire experiences. It's vital to sense them, so do take the time to do this. Each time, find the button & transfer the sensing to your heart. You can enter the experiences of others & make it your own. Think about others who you have known to have these experiences. For example, Tiger Woods, Oprah Winfrey, Michelle Kwan....anyone you know or have heard about that truly, truly wanted something!! These desires are very hot & it is because of their high temperature/emotional programming content, that these individuals can ride through & stay motivated for long periods of time.

You now have these "rememberings" inside of yourSelf & I'd like you to take an image of something you truly want & hold it in the palm of your hand, just as if it were a living model. Next, touch your heart & then sprinkle the Hot Desire that is stored there right onto your working image & observe it "firing up." This is an emotional transaction & one of great value.

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April 1, 2019

Healing with Your Imagination

As I move through my own grieving process, I find I am now able to move back to my "creative self." This would not have been possible without my own practice of Interactive Self-Hypnosis. I just passed the 5 month anniversary of my husband's passing. I know I'm making good progress, but it is a daily challenge. I have always welcomed challenge. One of the things I've noticed since losing my husband is that I have lost my authentic, creative self, but not just through his death. I lost it through my life as a caregiver to my family. I'm now visualizing my lost dreams and Self, inviting them to return to me in their new mature form.

I will be starting my free online workshops. To register please visit my new website.

I asked a current workshop group if anyone had ongoing problems with anxiety, panic, or unrelenting physical or emotional stress. Every hand in the room went up....Elizabeth Bohorquez, RN, C.Ht

Imagery & its visual counterpart are natural skills that people utilize all the time. Children, with their vivid imaginations, work beautifully with both visualization & other forms of imagery. However, our general education often interferes with these innate skills & so we must go back & learn to improve our abilities to visualize, to image, as well as to increase, control & direct the same in the direction of the goal or desired change.

Imagery is everything. It is the crux of how we experience our bodies, environment, our relationships to others or to ourselves, as well as to our spiritual life. We image constantly. Unfortunately, the most common imagery consists of negative, non-trusting, insecure, failure-orientated, worrisome, highly judgmental inner audio & visuals. These images are often followed by the behaviors that come to match the blueprints, thereby reinforcing the negative images. Our goal is not to teach imagery, but to change & transform existing images into ones that form the basis for high-level living and health.

We buy inner programming every moment & our minds do what they are programmed to do. The work you have been doing in Awareness Meditation has allowed you to see, as well as hear some of this programming in process. Observing the thoughts, emotions, listening to the inner audio programs & watching the ongoing DVD has given you the opportunity to see first hand how this automatic pilot programming has been working for most of your life. Now you have the tools to manage this programming & with visualization and imagery, you can actively change the DVD, thereby changing the outcomes not only in your mind, but in your body as well.

Images are stored chemically, not only in the mind, but also in the entire body. When they are recalled consciously, or unconsciously, the chemical program is replayed, often times enhanced in some way. We store many types of images including those involving all the senses; visual, hearing, feeling, taste & smell. For example, certain perfumes bring back remembrances of long ago, as does the smell of iodine or anesthetic. The smell of baking bread can evoke happiness, hunger, or even sadness if it is associated with a painful stored memory.

As we learn to observe the inner programming, noticing what is helpful or not helpful as we go towards our goals, we can choose to make changes. Awareness is the very first key. It is most interesting to observe the patterns of thoughts, as well as the automatic responses we play out, sometimes in response to emotions or even relationships.

For example, some people play the victim or the judge when in the company of certain people. Start to become aware, encouraging yourself to notice this type of auto-response. Some patterns are very ingrained, but as you practice more & more Awareness Meditation Tools, you will bring these to conscious awareness, where they can be assessed. It is important to stay detached & non-judgmental as possible during this awareness work. The tools of Interactive Self-Hypnosis will make this easier. Remember to congratulate yourself for practicing these techniques. The subconscious mind loves to be congratulated & will be motivated to repeat this activity for you.

Another benefit of imagery I've not discussed is the actual change in the brain structures from this type of practice. Research indicates that a person who actively practices imagery develops more brain cells & more neuronal connections. We find an improved ability to concentrate, as well as retrieve stored information whether it is long or short term. Learning appears to accelerate & the individual is able to accomplish more with less efforting.

WORKING WITH IMAGERY is great fun. In this section we will discuss the specific work we will be doing with images in the accompanying audio programs. The more we practice the better we get, and the better we get, the bigger the rewards.

We will be focusing on awareness tools, in and out of the workshop. We want to bring awareness to and enhance all physical senses; sight, smell, touch, taste, as well as the emotions. Practice during the day. Take some time to focus on each sense. For example, eat your lunch on your own in a quiet place, noticing the taste and feel of each movement & food involved in this activity. Sometimes it helps to close off one of the other senses, such as smelling the bath soap with your eyes closed. Taste the cheese without conversation, or close the eyes at the same time and feel it in your mouth. What does popcorn feel like as opposed to cheese? Notice we are not talking about taste, but feel. Most of us are highly visual or auditory. Smaller percentages are kinesthetic, or feeling. It is good to know what is your favorite sense, and then work with imagery to enhance the others.

As we begin to work with images we will begin experiencing them in new ways. We will go inside our pencil making it very big. We will go inside the walls of our house, and see what it looks like to look out into the room from inside the wall. We will practice seeing pieces of familiar furniture, feeling what it feels like to sit on it, stand on it & walk around it. This is the practice of 3-D imagery & is a very powerful tool in mind development.

We will be working on changing some of these images. In the Workshop we have a special camera for making images smaller, & then we can actually experience them in that size. Imagine sitting on a familiar chair that is now less than half the size. We can make things bigger, brighter, louder, softer. We can put things outside the houses that are inside and then do just the opposite. These exercises work to stimulate various sections of the brain, thereby changing their chemistry and increasing the ability to think and create. They help us remove boundaries & open us to change. We see what appeared to be impossible is now possible & choices we perhaps never considered can be seen as workable. New ideas seem to come forth with less effort.

We go on to experience being in our own body, rafting down the veins and arteries, looking around various parts, and seeing how food, exercise, sleep, and relaxation actually play out in our cells. This is your body and no one else’s. You are unique in this world & have a responsibility to care for your mind and your body.

You will be working with an album filled with images. Unlike a photograph album, this one not only has visual images, but remembrances of all images from your past and those already pasted in for your future. As we work with this album we can re-experience and choose to change those which are acting as inhibitors to your goals. We practice with easy ones such as an image of any apple. We can make it taste even more apple-like, or experience eating an apple with no taste at all. We always make sure to leave our apple tasting just right!

We practice smelling, tasting, touching, and experiencing. There is an area for placing new images that have not been experienced and practicing with them right there. We even get to practice what it feels like to be someone else, and even someone whom we never met such as Einstein. Not a bad image, especially when taking a math test!

The practice of imagery makes life richer. It is like turning up the color and intensity of the things we have at our disposal to enjoy. It also gives us the tools for diminishing those things that are not beneficial to our happiness and health, and because imagery can be very specific, we don’t have to diminish everything, but just the area that is bothersome.

WORKING WITH IMAGINOLOGY allows us to utilize imagery in a larger area. The new images now take on life and action that can be designed and managed thereby giving power, control and encouraging the development of creativity. We seem to make changes in an effortless way. This process is free of judgment and criticism and allows us to move confidently and stress-free through areas what may have caused difficulties in the past.

The audio programs connected to this workshop will enhance your inherent ability to design personalized metaphors for change. New skills will be developed allowing your subconscious mind to come forth with its own suggestions. Our own suggestions and problem-solving capabilities are always more powerful than those presented by someone else.

When we practice imaginology we see ourselves in the action and can make it exactly as we would like or even better. Most of us live in a small inner world, rather like a corral. We want to learn to open the gates and go out to explore. We want to put old fears and negative programming aside. As we practice with these programs, you will begin to notice when the automatic negative programming is blocking you from expanding your horizons.

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March 4, 2019

Lessons from the Closet

Moving from grieving to creativity needs some space...

__and be sure to check out my new website and library...always a free mp3 Interactive Self-Hypnosis Session, free classes and more! Would appreciate a "Like"...

mindfulnessbooksandmore.com

_____________________________________________

"All of the lessons we need are available all of the time, but often we have to wear our creative hat to access them."....Elizabeth Bohorquez, RN, C.Ht

DIRECTION:  EVERYTHING MUST BE CLEANED and CLEARED

For a while I thought this was a sinister mind game of my manipulating Self, finding a way to get me to get rid of clutter,  so my attitude reflected that, as I approached the tasks with my deepest nasty Self in tow. My body presented a series of ongoing complaints ranging from headaches to a badly aching back, but what was worse was my mind activity, including an excruciating case of procrastination. Pushing myself day after day became an ongoing battle of wits. I mentioned in my last blog that it took three months to complete the task that was delivered by my Higher or Mentor Self. Of course, time is relative. In this case, it was a very long painful time in my life, but not just for the reasons mentioned above.

Entertaining my nasty-self day after day became tiresome. However, this part wasn't a stranger to me.  I grew aware that it was a familiar visitor in my dealings with my eating issues. I was tired of many things that had to do with food. Yes, I was sick tired of daily meal planning, cooking and everything that went along with it. My Self snarled, "Why shouldn't I be tired. It's been decades and decades. It's not going to end. So take that and stuff it. And now you want to talk about dieting and cooking special things for YOU? Give me a break! And now you have me clearing out the house. What a servant you are!"Oh.....

Big Self-Block.

The bathroom closet was not kind to me. I was forced to admit my poor organization skills. Wastefulness once again. There were bottles upon bottles of shampoo, conditioner and all sorts of creams that promised a better this, that and the other, obviously none of them successful. As the garbage bag filled up, I started counting the money I was throwing away. Guilty shameful Self yelling at me; truly kicking me right in the gut. Ouch...

The giver of Directions stepped in asking the kicker to step back. This was a learning experience. While I was meant to "wake-up", I was not to be attacked, either physically or emotionally. I could almost see my little child-Self wiping her eyes, promising to learn the lessons... to stay awake.

DIRECTION - FORGIVE YOURSELF FOR ANYTHING and EVERYTHING

I started to feel better that day. Yes, I could face the music, but I didn't have to go down on my knees. No wonder it had been so difficult to look at all of my mistakes in judgment, the lack of attention to what I was doing. I was terrified of the guilt and shame, feeling that I always had to pretend that I was "good and worthy" The secret was that "I was not." Oh..... But, I heard the voice tell me that I was a good human being that had just made some mistakes. Yes, I could learn these lessons I could get over these things. Of course, I would have to make some changes. Now this became part of the directions.

DIRECTION - CHANGE IS GROWTH, SO CHOOSE TO CHANGE

All of the closets had suggestions for me. I learned how easy it was to organize the bathroom if I just kept an eye on it, I could decide when we needed something replaced. My shopping list had a special column for the bathroom closet. Nothing was purchased unless it was formally listed. I rather liked that.....formally listed made it special to the child part of me. It sounded like something important to do. My clothes closet had plenty of suggestions about when to purchase things, when enough was enough. Oh..... big lesson here. This one would carry over to the kitchen as well. I was both amazed and disheartened that I owned clothes that I didn't even like. Now, who would do something like that.....especially a grown-up?

I was directed to remove the things I didn't like, but to saved enough clothes to last me until it was a formal shopping excursion. There's that formal word again; Once again the child liking the idea of going on a special excursion. As a hypnotherapist I came to understand that these were great "containments" that would help me to be in control. Of course, every time I was in control, that would carry over to other parts of my life.

Just when things were going well, a great surprise greeted me in my "special closet." Here is where I kept ALL of my hobbies.  Goodness, there were so many. I was directed to take all of them out and line them up in the middle of the room. I was called to explain when I would be completing these half-started or not-started-at all hobbies while evaluating how much money was sitting in the middle of the room. The bully stepped forward, but was immediately blocked by the "giver of directions." I had to honestly confess that I didn't know if I would ever have time to do these things. As for the amount of money, well point well taken. Lesson accepted.

DIRECTION - CLEAN and CLEAR.

You may have one indoor hobby and one outdoor hobby. It's time to simplify life...to open the door to change. Everything else goes to someone else, so they will finish these up for you ...of course, they will then belong to them. FORGIVE YOURSELF FOR EVERYTHING ... TAKE YOUR LESSON AS YOUR GIFT. Now bring all of your lessons and gifts to the KITCHEN, for it is time to apply these to taking care of yourself in new ways....

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Anticipatory Grieving
originally posted: March 3, 2019

ANTICIPATORY MOURNING OR GRIEVING

As I work through my own personal grieving process, I review the work I've done for others during my past 40 years as an RN, Clinical Hypnotherapist and Coach. Keep in mind that grieving, even anticipatory grieving, is not just about the death of a loved one. It is much more frequent than that...

When delivering or writing programs for individuals, it’s important to remember that just the thought of living without someone or something can provoke great anxiety. It doesn’t matter if the relationship or habit/behavior isn’t good for that person. The level of grieving can be just as big, if not more than for a happy, healthy relationship, or habit/behavior. Much of this has to do with the individual’s perceived self-image or level of self-esteem. If one has become accustomed to receiving or giving punishment to the Self, then there is a part of the Self that simply wants or needs the pain. Not to have it is interpreted as emptiness or deep sadness. Such was the case of Aida.

Aida was a patient of mine. She came to the program with the idea of “just finding out what it was all about.” Her history of failure over the years left her non-believing and non-trusting, but she could “forgive” herself for this, if she attended the program or read the book, etc. Then she was free to “sell herself the story” that this, that or the other just wouldn’t work for her OR she had already tried something she considered “similar.” Her story tells her that it doesn’t or won’t work. This is simply an inner battle or resistance to change. It is there to protect her from the sadness that will come from the loss of the negative behaviors. This is a common outcome for so many. so it’s important to understand and pre-empt this part of their behavioral patterns.

Aida was petrified of waking up. She knew that she was obese, but she would/could defend her patterns to her death. Imagining her life without them and their many facets left her in a state of high anxiety. She didn’t want to think about or feel any part of the perceived loss so she stayed in denial.

Listen to Aida, “I’m simply not ready. Maybe when I can take a long vacation and dedicate some time to myself OR when my daughter goes off to college OR when I win the lottery and don’t have to work for a living.” Of course, the more she defends, the more ridiculous the fantasies. And because she is an intelligent woman, even she is surprised by the caliber of stories she can manufacture. However, it takes a bit of time before she is willing to let me know what she now knows about herself.

Sometimes when writing programs, we feel estranged from our reader or listener, but it’s very important for those of us who work in this writing or coaching genre, to see or sense our audience right before us. Only then can we build the kind of rapport that we need to be able to help them. Keeping Aida’s needs in mind, helps me address issues for a general audience because I’ve witnessed enough of these trends in my private practice to know the very same are harbored in a large percentage of those who will read or listen to my work.

Most of us have heard about the four stages of grieving. Now I’ve added the fifth….anticipatory, which of course, comes first and may contain the other four stages as well. So, even though the loss hasn’t occurred as yet, the resistance to the perceived loss can be huge. The defense mechanism can include denial, isolation of the Self, anger, bargaining and then finally, acceptance.

My job is to move the reader/listener through all stages while in the anticipatory stage. Keep in mind that the individual will not realize that he/she is in a stage of grieving, nor rarely will they choose to admit to “defending.” This would be perceived as “being weak” and is the opposite of what they want. If you’ve ever met, which I’m sure you have, individuals in this position, you might agree that they are not the friendliest beings to be around.

So it’s easy to understand why they can “isolate” so well. It’s key not to back down or to back away when sensing their resistance, EVEN IF you don’t know the individual because you are a writer or teaching through the Internet. The truth is, that they want you to sense their resistance and help them…….but not to fight with them because that is filled with “judgment”. This is exactly why their secrets and problems exist in the first place.

MIND EXERCISE

Find a time and place to allow for deep relaxation. All you need to do is to make the place and time ready. Listen to the sound of my voice or to read the following. Then go there by memory.

There is no reason to judge because there is nothing to judge. All that is important is what you do from this moment forward. What you are going to do is to awaken. There is nothing frightening about awakening for you do this every morning, only now you are going to awaken to things in your life and behaviors that you have adopted that aren’t helpful. There is nothing you need to do but to simply awaken. Notice how easy it is for you to think in this way….

To awaken means to be aware. There is nothing frightening about being aware. You practice this thousands of times each day. Think for a moment about the things you were already aware of today…. perhaps this morning…..this afternoon….and right now. What are you aware of right now?

Now I want you to relax deeply into the chair where you are reading or listening to this. Feel how good it feels to give yourself this special time.

In the past, you awakened to many things and then let them go. Notice that you can see some examples of these over there. You are simply watching them and not participating in them because they already happened. If you like, you can watch them on the movie screen behind your eyelids or even sit in the back row. These are things that you let go of in your past. Notice how many of them there are….. some small, others big, but all successfully let go.

And now you have new awakenings that show you additional things that need to be let go. These have to do with secrets that have formed around eating issues or other issues for which you have developed unhealthy coping behaviors or habits. Notice them over there and at the same time notice how these secrets, behaviors and habits keep you locked up in a small corral. Notice how all parts of you are ready to be free… the parts that you thought were anxious or frightened or grieving letting go are not that at all. They are simply excited about experiencing health and wellness, for this is what this is about……nothing else. Now, who wouldn’t choose to be healthier and to experience wellness? I’m sure you can agree that you would welcome health and wellness if it came knocking at your door……… notice that it is knocking now. You are answering the door and welcoming it in. Feel the joy as your welcomed visitors enter.”

SYNOPSIS

The above short mind exercise walked the reader/listener through many reframes that allowed for letting go of fear and apprehension about entering change. Obviously, there are many reasons for being anxious and fearful….many having to do with self-image and self-esteem issues, but we can choose not to address them here. We could decide to make the needed changes be about something that no one will argue about and that is completely unthreatening……..health and wellness fall into that category. In the future, I will be assisting the reader/listener in building their inner core image and esteem, but right now, I want you, the reader or listener to move past the initial grieving into the action.

The next blog will be about the ongoing re-appearance of the grieving process and how you are already in the position to take charge.

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Grieving and Rules of the Road
originally posted: February 15, 2019

Deep Relaxation Audio - Session One

Rules of the Road

If you are following along with me, I just finished reviewing the night I realized my deepest fear...that of "myself." There is a part of me ( it still exists ) that is cunning and dangerous. Strangely enough, I like this part. She is creative and fun, but also can be dangerous. She is my addictive self and is always ready to suggest some "nonsense" to take me off the Path I've committed to traveling.

Oh, how I wish I could go off with her and have crazy fun without having to "pay the piper." What would it be like to eat all the things that smile out to me from the shelves of the supermarket, the restaurant menus, the fast food joints, the liquor store, the endless desire to buy things that appeal to me even when I don't need them. What fun not to get up with the damn alarm clock, get in the car and just go wherever I wanted without any responsibilities to anyone. What would it feel like to erase the past and just to "escape" from everything. What if I never got sick from eating a gallon of ice cream, an entire pizza or a foot long hero sandwich with all the trimmings?

One day I wrote a list of all the foods I would eat IF I wouldn't get sick. The list horrified me. I was beginning to know how very sick I had become. Then I made a list of everything I would buy if I had no limits or had to face the bill at the end of the month. I sensed the joy I had when purchasing things, or even ordering a cocktail in a restaurant. Just the thoughts made my mind race to a super-happy place.

Opening my dark place was becoming an enlightening, but frightening experience. So, it wasn't just about food, but much more that needed tending. My "garden" was full of weeds, despite my being a successful professional, mother, wife and friend. I suppose one might say I was a "fraud." It's difficult for me to look at myself through that lens, but then again that is only a judgment that indicates where changes need to be made.

This information is very important for me to heal on very deep levels. This is what this year is about. From my work in the field of nursing and clinical hypnotherapy, I knew a lot about "dark places" of others besides myself. Perhaps knowing my own dark place, and being willing to explore it further, would help my patients as well as myself.

I'm not new to this exploration. I've done it for decades, BUT since my son's death the exploration has taken on a new "context." I could only explain it by saying that "I feel like I'm being led to a Higher Place, and that in order to go there, I must clean up some of my dark areas." I decided ( or to be more accurate ), I've been directed to review my own work "end to end". That means listening to every one of my mp3 programs, and to read everything I've written, both in my books and journals. This is a big assignment. I've been given no deadline ( funny metaphor ). I'm also to finish writing the books I've been given to do. Looks like I'm going to be quite busy!

As I return to the night of my "big fear", I wrote in my journal that I finally stood up and walked into the kitchen. My journal was on the kitchen table. I sat down and wrote a few rules that seemed to be dictated to me from a voice speaking to me from within. God, I wanted a drink! The first rules were simple. I was not to eat except at meals. The meals were to be at specific times. I could have snacks, but they were to be at certain times. ( Oh, I was not liking this.)

Then came an odd rule. I had to eat "at the table" which was to be set with my best china, cutlery, glassware, linen napkin, and with a fresh flower in a vase. When I packed my lunch for work ( no fast food or food ordered in ), I was to do the same. I was to keep the china, cutlery, glassware, linen napkin, etc. in the office. My food would be packed in "new" attractive plastic containers, and each day I would be serving myself something delightful. "Oh my goodness. This was becoming a real chore." The truth was I never made plans about anything. I ate whatever was in the fridge. I ate in front of the television if I was alone if family was home, I ate while cooking, then just sat with them. No one ever seemed to notice.

Now...I had these rules. The child part of me was screaming, BUT....she liked the idea of the formality of the setting. That interested me. Why? As time passed I began to understand...it was a beginning to my inner healing. Today I'm reviewing an mp3 called "The Mountain." It is a hypnotic journey into my past, and then up the mountain to the "summit." I love this program. You can find it in my Catalog on my website. The link is below. It's in the Learn Self-Hypnosis Series.

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R E A D E R   C O M M E N T S

"Julia" has sent this comment from your Publishers Marketplace page:
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Re: Grieving and Creating...At the Same Time (January 3, 2019)

Very nice of Eliz, I forgot about the power of transmuting.

It?s very beautiful that even out of some of the hardest times in our life there?s strength to be found.Re: The Magic Inside Question Asking...!! (June 13, 2012)

Like what I am seeing about your Book. We seem to share a lot in common regarding belief. Looking forward to the completed book

Re: Sugar...the Hidden Eating Disorder - Excerpts (December 4, 2011)

Wonderfully insightful and beautifully written post. I struggled for over 40 years with eating disorders and disordered eating and what you've written is so true, especially the part about being an information-gatherer.

Re: 'Tis the Season - The Biggest Gift Ever! (December 18, 2010)

I dont have a lot of words right now i just came across youre material. As i read this i am just sitting hear crying my eyes out something is defenetly going on. This material that you write about is obviously hitting a cord with me.

Re: The Art of Self-Tweaking (May 20, 2010)

I love your blog regarding the art of tweaking! I've enjoyed a number of your tapes (way back when) and now mp3 recordings. Your imagery is deep and rich; it resonates with me. I really enjoy reading your creative thoughts and ideas!

Re: The Art of Self-Tweaking (May 20, 2010)

Thank you Elizabeth for this article. I was reminded of a talk I used to give several years ago, particularly to business people, but it also (I believe) has a message for people in general, except that the image I used mightn't be meaningful for them.

The message is simple and is contained in its title "You are your own product manager." When you know the responsibilities and role of a product manager, the message is quite clear. But what I wanted my audiences to understand and believe, is that their future is their responsibility.

Thank you for the opportunity to comment.

Re: Brick Throwing & Ducking (May 18, 2010)

Once again my comment arises from my business background. In sales your prospect (customer) will always offer some objections. It doesn't matter whether the objection is valid or not, or significant or trivial. What it is - is something to be dealt with. Each objection you treat seriously and overcome, becomes a new selling point for whatever your product or service is. The customer might be objecting simply to show that s/he is in command. Your treatment of it validates the customer's self-perception, and increases your acceptance value in his/her eyes. But whatever - an objection requires you to consider it, and if necessary to take some relevant action - requires you to react positively.

A B O U T   T H E   A U T H O R

Elizabeth Bohorquez, RN, C.Ht has been working & writing in the field of mindbody health, self-hypnosis, addictions, creativity & optimum performance for over 30 years. She is a graduate of Rockland Psychiatric Center, SUNY; Graduate Nurse Intern, Memorial Sloan-Kettering Cancer Center, Cornell University, N.Y. She is President & Program Designer, Sarasota Medical & Sports Hypnosis Institute, Sarasota, FL & online at http://www.hypnosis-audio.com & http://www.sugar-addiction.com

She has written & produced +350 audio CD programs for adults, children, students & athletes, as well as several books in original Interactive Self-Hypnosis. She specializes in the food connection to addiction, optimum health & performance. She is the author of Sugar...the Hidden Eating Disorder & How to Lick It, as well as Beyond Disorderly Eating...the Truth About Sugar & Binging & How to Stop


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