Publishers Marketplace: Michael Catterson

Previous and Ongoing Projects

I have written and sold a six episode web series, described as a "post-apocalyptic office comedy," to the Independent Comedy Network. Based on its success, they've recently green-lighted my script for a new project called ME2, a satire on cover bands that follows the daily problems of a lead singer who can't shake his Bono persona, despite pleas from family, friends, bandmates, cops, and co-workers at his day job.

Completed Novels - General Queries

Novel 1:

Policies on fat and second-hand fat dominate the airwaves in the nine months leading up to the 2085 presidential inauguration, setting the table for FAT ASS JOE'S, the story of how atheist Charles "Hale" Bopp stands up for the not-so little people by turning a restaurant into a research center into a religious movement.

Hale's just spent ten, dark years orbiting earth, living as a lowly, red-collared astronaut, dodging authority, and trying not to think about Joe, the fat, fourteen year old brother he left behind to care for their cancer ridden mother. One space elevator explosion and a thousand neck sutures later, Hale's lost more than his job--he's lost everything except his head. Now he's stuck back in suburban Chicago with the brother he abandoned and a body attached to someone else's insurance policy. Joe's become a "moralegally" overweight liposuction doctor who's overjoyed to have Hale home. Everyone else Hale bumps into knows him as "that guy with the head from TV." Gravity's making life far too heavy.

What's worse? The shoe-in presidential candidate is about to launch a national crackdown on obesity, all but banning Joe's lifestyle. However, with the help of a skinny chef and a childhood-chum-turned-policeman, not to mention the Dog Handler's Church of America, Hale dedicates sixty-four million dollars in workman's compensation to helping his brother fit in, if not to a new pair of jeans then to a new restaurant that bears his name. But can Hale outwit the Department of Church, State, and Science? And can the only restaurant in the world without a "no-fatting" section change public opinion, let alone pierce the Great Cloud of China?

FAT ASS JOE'S is a 119,000 word speculative fiction novel, and the complete manuscript is available upon request.

Novel 2:

The sole member of his family to benefit from the wonder drug Nuera, Jade Long has never had to sleep. But when this prodigal son tosses his prescription, COUNTING SHEEP ticks off the days before a Chicago Christmas as he tries not to seem ungrateful for an unwanted blessing.

Jade's already lived longer than his older brother Roger--at least in terms of "waking hours." At nineteen years old, he's just completed a three year stint in London as a senior investment banker and shouldn't be heading out to pasture anytime soon. However, when Roger picks him up from the airport, Jade's ravings about "celebrity armies" and "hungry-looking trees" tells Roger that Jade's gone off his medication and entered withdrawal. He's given up the American dream for a dream of his own. Now he just needs to survive an unsuppressed subconscious that's sure to scare the neighbors if not land him in jail.

Fortunately there's alcohol, a potent dream suppressor and, especially around the holidays, a convenient way to dismiss madness. With a mother sneaking off to take four hour naps at nearby motel rooms--anything to escape the circadian rhythms of her newly retired husband--and a father who's busy investigating a case of mistaken infidelity, Roger might just keep Jade liquored up long enough to avoid incident. On the other hand, someone's been tampering with pills at local stores, and there's a wake to attend. Hindu-fascists have threatened to blow up any establishment that serves cow, and Jade's become obsessed with fast food. It seems everyone's got some fences left to leap before Santa Claus comes.

COUNTING SHEEP is a 100,000 word speculative fiction novel, and the complete manuscript is available upon request.

Novel 3:

On the day Clay Ingram was born, astronomers spotted an asteroid destined to destroy Earth--albeit in seventy-eight years. Now in the planet's final hours, STONE AGE looks back on his average lifespan spent trying to save one relationship but not the world.

Clay remembers the first time he felt like the world was ending. He was eighteen and hating the person he became while blackout drunk--since that guy kept drinking all his beer. It was like any other day, really, except that Kali had left him. A week later, he thought, "Wow, I just left a bar without drinking, music isn’t fun anymore, and I couldn’t even kill myself tonight. I might as well get a job." And so, like other promising athletes during the Cold Rush, he set off for Antarctica to make his fortune.

Sixty years later, Clay remembers a whole lot more. He remembers when an asteroid deflection system melted Antarctica. He remembers drowned national capitals, the rise of a freshly irrigated Australian empire, the Seven Nations' war, and his marriage to Kali aboard a cruise liner turned pirate ship. Kali's camera's documented decades of destruction and brought her unprecedented fame, but she doesn't even remember her own wedding due to Alzheimer's. Radiation sickness, sharks, and everything else Clay has battled to win Kali back has left him with a prosthetic arm and leg, but at least he's kept his wits about him. He just hopes that'll be enough as he rockets toward a doomed planet for a photo opportunity that could take the lens cap off Kali's mind--if only for one, earth-shattering second.

STONE AGE is a 120,000 word speculative fiction novel, and the complete manuscript is available upon request.

This writer is looking for an agent.