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Nipple Confusion Journal: Milking the Most Out of First-time Motherhood
by Sherwood Fleming
Each year more than 1 million American women become mothers for the first time. Most are prospects for books that tell them how to handle the logistics of pregnancy and baby care. These well-educated, well-read modern women between the ages of 20 and 39 typically approach pregnancy and motherhood as if it's a problem that can be solved with information. What they can't foresee is the momentous impact that having a baby will have on every domain of their lives and how ill-equipped they will feel to handle it, in spite of all their diligent research.
A central element of Nipple Confusion Journal: Milking the Most Out of First-time Motherhood is that our upbringing as modern women — how we think, how we do things habitually, what choices we're encouraged to make and what values we hold dear — makes it difficult for us to adapt to being mothers, particularly the first time around. Motherhood is a change process of major proportions, for which canned solutions fall flat.
A second key premise of Nipple Confusion Journal is that the experience of first-time motherhood is different from that of motherhood the second or third time around. While each is unique, a first child requires a degree of adaptation in every domain of our lives and a shift in world view that's clearly not required by subsequent pregnancies. The immensity of this adaptation is rarely acknowledged. But because we don't acknowledge it doesn't mean that it doesn't exist.
Imagine if decades ago there had been no acknowledgment within corporate culture that change, even positive change, was hard to handle? There are now countless consultants and coaches dedicated to the practice of change management, showing everyone from upper management to the rank and file how to adapt to change, embrace change and get the most out of change. Nipple Confusion Journal is the first such book for first-time mothers.
What is Still Missing for First-time Mothers
First-time motherhood is a time when our passions speak louder than our intellects. A time when we witness our bodies performing miracles and are in awe of this new being to whom we've given life. However, we're not encouraged to celebrate that. We're not encouraged to take the time to craft words with which to deeply express the full range of our experiences and the newly-awakened possibilities or insights that come with them. We're simply not shown any means to fully explore this for ourselves. That has been left to therapists or professional writers, who speak on our behalf.
Step-by-step I give the reader the encouragement, training and tools to confidently speak for herself. Not as mere subject matter for a creative writing exercise, but rather to build a better present and future. Like her baby, the reader will evolve enormously during this first year. Nipple Confusion Journal guides the reader as she narrates and navigates her evolution during this extraordinary year.
Before giving birth for the first time, the reader had an outsider's view of motherhood. From the inside, however, this feels like a perilous leap into the unknown. It's well known that change is uncomfortable. What is not well known is how to help yourself minimize the discomfort while simultaneously forging new directions: deliberately, confidently, even enjoyably.
That is the journey that I am accompanying the reader on in the pages of Nipple Confusion Journal. Words will be her vehicle. And no one else's words can ever be as significant as her own, especially in times of change as all-encompassing as first-time motherhood.
How Nipple Confusion Journal Addresses the Reader's Concerns
Navigating change is not a process in which we are taught to actively and enthusiastically participate. Nipple Confusion Journal is the first book to apply a coaching/change management methodology to first-time motherhood, based on my three-stage journal writing process.
The reader will never again travel this road of first-time motherhood, the thrilling journey of becoming someone she has never been and of building a relationship like none she has ever had. It's vital to not let this one chance to capture everything as it is happening slip away. This simply isn't a story that can be told as completely or compellingly after the fact.
What's essential is to create a record that expresses the full range of her experiences, along with the newly-awakened possibilities and insights that come with them. That's why Nipple Confusion Journal is structured with short, easy-to-follow writing exercises and related songs, both designed to act as catalysts for the reader's words during this crucial first year.
Nipple Confusion Journal takes into account that new mothers do not suddenly have lots of time on their hands. Therefore, flexibility and short, manageable time frames are built into the content and structure of the book.
While rational problem solving has its place within first-time motherhood, many of the exercises in the book are designed to tap other resources that we are rarely called upon to use in a deliberate way — inventiveness, expanded awareness of language, body, emotion, and relationship building with ourselves and others. These are vital resources for shifting perspectives and navigating change. I show the reader of Nipple Confusion Journal how to harness these resources through 60 journal writing exercises that start simply and increase in complexity as the reader becomes more experienced with navigating change via journal writing.
Nipple Confusion Journal Breaks New Ground
Nipple Confusion Journal breaks new ground by enabling a first-time mother to tell her story — one that reflects both her internal and external landscapes — and to transform herself and her life. It doesn't talk about liberation, it is liberating. It provides a broader vision of what's possible not in spite of motherhood, but because of it. It's dedicated to embracing change and participating fully in setting a direction, rather than fighting change or being swept away by it and feeling confused and defeated.
Nipple Confusion Journal enables a first-time mother to:
Become her own uncensored chronicler of what the entire experience of first-time motherhood is like for her, while it's happening.
Learn to increase her enjoyment of motherhood.
Observe her habitual ways of seeing and doing things that may have served her well in the past but are not a fit for first-time motherhood.
Begin to practice different ways of seeing and doing things that are more a fit with her evolution as a mother.
Intentionally adopt different perspectives that expand her options for action and satisfaction.
Master using language — journal writing, speaking and listening — as a tool for participating in shaping herself and her life to fit with what matters most to her and her family.
Including My Songs with Nipple Confusion Journal
Music is frequently employed in seminars and coaching during reflective and writing exercises. Including songs about a first-time mother's experiences with Nipple Confusion Journal replicates this experience for the reader and serves as a thematic backdrop for the chapters.
With so few songs celebrating motherhood, they also stand on their own and add value to the book as a gift item. The songs also play an essential role in the marketing program, both online and offline.
How I Am Qualified to Provide What is Missing
Nipple Confusion Journal shows the reader how to tell her story about motherhood, using language as a powerful tool to actively participate in shaping her present and future.
I am a certified coach, a graduate of the respected Newfield Network, established in the 1980s. I employ its coaching methodology, called "ontological coaching", which is based on how language shapes what is possible in the present and future, for ourselves and with others. In the last decade I have led seminars based on this coaching approach in both North America and Europe.
This methodology draws upon the work of scientists and researchers from many countries in the biology of cognition, the philosophy of language and change management. In Nipple Confusion Journal this new approach to words and writing is taught to the reader.
This way of seeing oneself and what's possible is already present in consulting, coaching and self-help circles. My commitment is to bring the benefits of this approach to first-time mothers. Given the uniqueness of the experience of first-time motherhood, and my blend of competences (ontological coaching, creating and leading seminars, songwriting), Nipple Confusion Journal brings a fresh approach to journal writing as a tool for self-transformation.
A detailed proposal is available on request, along with a CD of the songs.
This writer is looking for an agent.
SKILLS
Writing
GENRES & SPECIALTIES
Mind/body/spirit
Women's Issues
Cross-Cultural Communication
PROJECTS ON OFFER / PROPOSALS AVAILABLE
Nipple Confusion Journal: Milking the Most Out of First-time Motherhood