I'M PERFECT, YOU'RE DOOMED Kyria Abrahams "Undoubtedly the cleverest lapsed Jehovah's Witness yet..." -Kirkus

It is not enough to be a great writer. If you want your book to stand the test of time, you must also be a great storyteller. Whether the subject is history or nature, parenting or pop culture, science or sports, Laurie Abkemeier looks for a distinctive voice and a natural talent for artfully conveying ideas or skillfully crafting a narrative.

When it comes to memoir and narrative nonfiction, the subject matter should appeal to a proven book-buying audience (e.g. dog lovers, foodies, gardeners, armchair travelers), and the writing should be compelling enough to attract readers who aren't in that core audience. In other words, the book should be a great read.

For practical nonfiction, Laurie seeks out authors who have a specific expertise and/or national platform and a knack for writing entertaining (often humorous) prose no matter what the subject.

A successful editor who became an agent in 2003, Laurie represents nonfiction exclusively. She has placed more than forty books with Algonquin, Atria, Ballantine, Broadway, Citadel Press/Kensington, William Morrow, HarperCollins, Three Rivers/Crown, Perigee, Penguin, Berkley, NAL, Touchstone/Fireside, Rodale, Running Press, Sasquatch, St. Martin's Press, Ten Speed, Wiley, and Warner/Grand Central (Hachette).

DeFiore and Company is a full service literary agency founded by Brian DeFiore and headquartered in New York's Flatiron District. Laurie is a member of the Association of Authors' Representatives.

You can follow her on Twitter HERE.

Kyria Abrahams, John Austin, Chris Balish, Craig Boreth, Laura Brodie (represented by Gail Hochman for fiction), June Casagrande, Stacey Edgar, Elina Furman, John Grogan, Jarrett Hallcox & Amy Welch, Lori Jakiela, Martha Kimes, Lisa Earle McLeod, Joy Meredith, Cal Newport, Ann Martin Rolke, Adam Ruben, John Soennichsen, Amy Spencer, Kate Torgovnick, Vivian Wagner, Geoff Williams

THE LONGEST TRIP HOME: A Memoir by John Grogan (William Morrow, October 2008)
MARLEY & ME: Life and Love with the World’s Worst Dog by John Grogan (William Morrow)
MARLEY: A Dog Like No Other by John Grogan (Collins, middle-grade reader)
BAD DOG, MARLEY! and A VERY MARLEY CHRISTMAS by John Grogan (HarperCollins Children's)

---

THE $64 TOMATO by William Alexander (Algonquin)

---

MISS NEW YORK HAS EVERYTHING by Lori Jakiela (Warner)

---

GRAMMAR SNOBS ARE GREAT BIG MEANIES and MORTAL SYNTAX by June Casagrande (Penguin, 2006 and 2008)

---

LIVE FROM DEATH VALLEY by John Soennichsen (Sasquatch)
BRETZ'S FLOOD by John Soennichsen (Sasquatch, 2008)

---

HOW TO IRON YOUR OWN DAMN SHIRT by Craig Boreth (Three Rivers Press)
HOW TO FEEL MANLY IN A MINIVAN by Craig Boreth (St. Martin's Press)

---

HOW TO WIN AT COLLEGE and HOW TO BECOME A STRAIGHT A STUDENT by Cal Newport (Broadway)

---

PRANK UNIVERSITY by John Austin (Three Rivers Press)
CUBICLE WARFARE: 101 Office Traps and Pranks by John Austin (Collins, 2008)

---

HOW TO LIVE WELL WITHOUT OWNING A CAR by Chris Balish (Ten Speed Press)

---

MY LAST WISHES... by Joy Meredith (Collins)

---

BOOMERANG NATION and KISS AND RUN by Elina Furman (Fireside)

---

HANDS-OFF COOKING by Ann Martin Rolke (Wiley)

---

IVY BRIEFS by Martha Kimes (Atria)

---

C.C. PYLE'S AMAZING FOOT RACE by Geoff Williams (Rodale)

---

THE BOOK OF SPAM® by Dan Armstrong & Dustin Black (Atria)

---

CHEER! Inside the Secret World of College Cheerleaders by Kate Torgovnick (Touchstone)

---

BEHIND THE YELLOW TAPE by Jarrett Hallcox & Amy Welch (Berkley, 2009)

---

I'M PERFECT, YOU'RE DOOMED: Tales from a Jehovah's Witness Upbringing by Kyria Abrahams (Touchstone, 2009)

---

MARLEY GOES TO SCHOOL and MARLEY AND THE KITTENS by John Grogan, Illustrated by Richard Cowdrey (Sold to HarperCollins Children's)

---

LOVE IN A TIME OF HOMESCHOOLING by Laura Brodie (Sold to Harper)

---

FIDDLE: One Woman's Search for Tunes, Grit, and Authenticity by Vivian Wagner (Sold to Citadel Press/Kensington)

---

MEETING YOUR HALF-ORANGE by Amy Spencer (Sold to Running Press)

---

THE ONE-SENTENCE SOLUTION by June Casagrande (Sold to Ten Speed)

---

THE TRIANGLE OF TRUTH by Lisa Earle McLeod (Sold to Perigee)

---

SURVIVING YOUR STUPID, STUPID DECISION TO GO TO GRAD SCHOOL by Adam Ruben (Sold to Broadway)

---

Dramatic rights to MARLEY & ME to FOX 2000 in an outright purchase, in conjunction with Matthew Snyder at CAA. Film released on December 25, 2008, and spent two weeks as the #1 movie in the country--surpassing the $100 million mark in its first ten days.

Dramatic rights to HOW TO FEEL MANLY IN A MINIVAN to Five Star Pictures, in conjunction with Matthew Snyder at CAA. Property in Development.

Originally from California, Laurie Abkemeier began her publishing career in 1992 as an editorial assistant in the Touchstone/Fireside division at Simon & Schuster. In 1994, she moved to Hyperion where she was responsible for five New York Times Bestsellers, including BRAIN DROPPINGS by George Carlin, ROCK THIS! by Chris Rock, NO SHIRT, NO SHOES, NO PROBLEM! by Jeff Foxworthy, and FIRST PERSON PLURAL: My Life as a Multiple by Cameron West, Ph.D. Some of the dozens of other books she acquired and edited include the Business Week bestseller HOW TO BECOME CEO by Jeffrey Fox, POLISH YOUR FURNITURE WITH PANTY HOSE by Joey Green, WHAT NO ONE TELLS THE BRIDE by Marg Stark, SCHOOLHOUSE ROCK! THE OFFICIAL GUIDE by George Newall and Tom Yohe, THE HIP MAMA SURVIVAL GUIDE by Ariel Gore, and LIVING THE SIMPLE LIFE by Elaine St. James. She has worked as a literary agent specializing in nonfiction since 2003.

DeFiore and Company actively markets its titles through an extensive network of sub-agents who specialize in dramatic and foreign rights.

UK/Australia/NZ: Aitken Alexander Associates, Ltd.
Foreign: Andrew Nurnberg Associates et al

Visit www.defioreandco.com for a complete list of contacts.

DeFiore and Company: Brian DeFiore, Founder and Principle; Kate Garrick, Agent and Director of Foreign Rights

Laurie Abkemeier strongly prefers to be queried in a brief email (attachments will not be read unless requested). Please include the word "QUERY" and your book title in the subject line. Submissions need not be exclusive, and response time is between one hour and three weeks. If you must query by snail mail, include an SASE for response only, which may take one month or more. Return of materials cannot be guaranteed. [NOTE: Laurie is not currently considering fiction, and if you call your manuscript "a novel," that implies fiction. She is also not considering children's books, screenplays, or poetry.]